Guest blogger Jean Fain is a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist and the author of “The Self-Compassion Diet: A Step-by-Step Program to Lose Weight with Loving-Kindness.” Her website is www.jeanfain.com.
Self-compassion may help curb the self-critical thoughts and emotional distress that fuel overeating.
If you’ve ever tried a diet or another “no-fail” weight-loss recipe only to meet more failure than success, you’ve probably wondered what’s wrong with you. Rather than beat yourself up for not trying hard enough, you ’d do better to try a new ingredient for sustainable weight loss: self-compassion.
The assertion that kindness, not self-discipline, is the missing ingredient in most weight-loss plans is supported by a growing body of psychological research. Self-compassion, research psychologists wholeheartedly agree, actually negates the negative thoughts and feelings that fuel emotional overeating.
The most persuasive of the studies was conducted at Wake Forest University. In that 2007 study, college women, 31 percent of whom were current dieters, were divided into three groups. All were told that they would be participating in a taste test of candies. In reality, the purpose of the study was to examine the effect of self-compassion on the amount of candy consumed.
Two of the groups were required to eat a donut before the taste test. Those in the first group were encouraged to think kindly of themselves between the dietary transgressions; the second group got no help thinking any less self-critically about falling off the “diet” wagon. A control group wasn’t given anything to eat before the taste test. During the taste test, subjects were told to sample at least one of each type of candy. After that, they were also allowed to eat as many as they wanted.
The results defied researchers’ expectations: restrictive eaters (such as the dieters in the study) who entertained compassionate thoughts tasted the candies, but did not overindulge like those left alone with their self-criticism. Self-compassion, the researchers concluded, is apparently an antidote to the self-critical thoughts and emotional distress that fuel overeating.
A 2010 paper in International Journal of Cognitive Therapy reports that when British patients with eating disorders learned to think kindly of themselves, the shame and self-loathing underlying their disordered eating decreased. In addition, self-compassion actually helped those who had broken their dietary rules by binging reduce the tendency to overeat.
As a therapist specializing in eating issues, I’ve observed the benefits of self-compassion first-hand. After reviewing the compelling research, then teaching clients compassion-enhancing practices, several of them lost significant amounts of weight. After a few short weeks of following practices described in my new book, one client desperately seeking thinner, I’ll call her Betty, felt less self-critical, more content, and started wearing more flattering jeans – one size smaller! Betty had stopped weighing herself because the scale had been no friend, but she’d clearly lost a noticeable amount of weight without dieting.
My clients aren’t the only ones who are finding self-compassion to be an antidote to the self-critical thoughts and emotional distress fueling eating problems. According to a 2010 article in The International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, British clients with eating disorders have learned that thinking kindly of themselves decreases the shame and self-loathing underlying their disordered eating.
Interested in gaining self-compassion and losing weight? Try these compassion-enhancing tips:
* Loving-Kindness Meditation: First bestow kindness on yourself by silently repeating: “May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.” Then extend kindness to your loved ones by repeating: “May you be safe….”
* Compassionate Advisor: Imagine your picture of compassion—Mother Teresa, a favorite relative or pet— then mentally ask for advice, support…. whatever you need.
* Compassionate Note to Self: Commit to paper your personal angst about a current predicament followed by comforting words from an imagined pen pal.
* Compassionate Glasses: Try on a pair of imaginary glasses with compassionate lenses and take a good look at yourself, imperfections and all. Or watch this YoutTube video.
CONNECT THE DOTS
Want to learn more about the theory and practice of self-compassion? Visit researcher Kristin Neff’s website or The Compassionate Mind Foundation, which offers a list of published studies on this topic. For more weight-loss news, read our posts, “3 Healthy Family Habits to Combat Childhood Obesity,” “A Weight-Loss Diet Based on DNA,” “More Americans Eligible for LAP-BAND Weight-Loss Surgery,” and “Winning Diet Plans.”
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